are you still at the devil's house?
we have pet lesbian snakes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
