Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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