some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i think my cat just said my name.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
