obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
