dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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