i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
