dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
