I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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