We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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