Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
