Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
