I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
