I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
