Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
