Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
