return my video game
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
