piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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