She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
