i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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