Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
