I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
