That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
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Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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