I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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