I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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