Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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