just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
