I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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