im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
