I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
