i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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