Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
