I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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