im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
