His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
