Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
