new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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