she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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