careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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