Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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