can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
