Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
