so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In America we eat man semen.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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