You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
