We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
