We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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