so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
50% drunk capacity currently
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
