Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
