He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
