can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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