Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
