Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize