I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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