I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
