That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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