I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
