hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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