nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
