What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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