Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
