i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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