At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
