For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize