A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
