I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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