Are we in a gay sports bar?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
